Chinese evens or May the Oriential bird of Paradise..

My loving wife has been saving all summer to get some patio furniture. She has scrimped, saved, done with out until it hurt. Yesterday she had enough to pull the trigger and buy the set. She called me at work, caught me in the middle of one of the busiest days of the week and ask me if it would be OK to buy the set. In my very simple and uneducated mind she told me that all of it was reduced in price for summer clearance and that it would really look great on the deck. Being busy and always in a mood to let my wife have everything she asks for, ( I learned that its not a good idea to tell an Irish Cherokee, no.) I said "go, ahead honey I know you really have been working on that and if you don't get it now it may sell out and you will miss your chance."
I was rewarded with an " I love you ". It nice to have someone say "I love you " when your up to your ears in alligators. I had the nagging thought for just an instant, How is she going to get ALL THAT furniture home in that Durango. The thought was small and before it hatched into a full blown question, the phone rang and I was off solving another world crisis. I worked two hours overtime yesterday, my excuse for not adding any life changing / altering information to this blog. Anyway on with the story, I was driving home, listening to some Brad Paisley singing about fishing when that little thought about the furniture getting home resurfaced into a full blown question, followed by an immediate I'll bet I have to put it together. I did what anyone would do in my position with a cell phone and called her. She answered just after she had used all of that help and a two ton crane to get that box, (see photo below), into the back of her Durango. I immediately zoned in on her labored breathing and like a hawk swooping in on a sparrow, I stated " I have to put that together." Being very agile, she recovered her breath and said, "Oh... just a little, I'll help you, should take more that a few minutes. Maybe we can go fishing when its done." Man I knew it was going to be bad.

It was worse than bad, I snuck up on the Durango, very stealthily opened the back hatch, there in front of me was a shipping label written in something other than English. Thinking I had an out, as I glanced towards my fishing rods, she said " Don't let that bother you, I have a friend that speaks Spanish if we need to call her." I was had. Stick a fork in me cause I'm done.

I had to open the crate inside the car and unload the box, one piece at a time. One of the first things I seen was the little tool pictured to the right. It was an 'Allen" style tool about three inches long and 1/8 th of an inch in diameter. It has five sides. It took me less than 30 seconds to realize that somewhere in China ans you read this blog is a group of Chinese workers laughing over cold adult Chinese beverages, making fun of the dumb Americans putting together the furniture with that little hand tool. They are more than likely saying adult adjectives of a nature not suitable for mixed company and small children as they hold their hands in imitations cramped positions. They are getting down on their knees, then their bottoms with their knees trying to hold the imaginary pieces together so they can get the very small screws started with a tool that fits the top of the screw... almost.

Being of sound mind, for to upset the little lady is not in the realm of the real world, I fussed, muttered, worked the cramps from my hands and rubbed the sore knees until the finished product was completed. See the bottom photo.

It was worth it, my wife is happy, the furniture looks great and I earned enough "atta-boy" points to cover my next two aw-shucks.